INTJs often experience relationship struggles because they expect their partners to comprehend their unique gifts. INTJs are not interested in one-night stands or flings. Many INTJs have gone through several partners because INTJs tend to end things when they feel the relationship has no hope of staying long-term. INTJs are very rare, and the other introverted personalities do not understand them. Because INTJs tend to be picky with their partners and friends, they are careful, and it requires a lot of time before an INTJ will let you into his or her world.
So, what’s it like to be in a relationship with an INTJ? Below, we are going to cover ten things you can expect to experience when you are in a relationship with an INTJ. We hope that our list helps you understand your INTJ partner a bit better. After all, if you are already in a long-term relationship with an INTJ, chances are, your INTJ sees you as a long-term partner, so you’ll want to learn how to adapt and adjust to this interesting personality type.
1. INTJs Have Strong Relationship Requirements
Most INTJs know what they want out of a relationship. They aren’t people that enjoy flings very often. Instead, they prefer to spend time finding a relationship that will endure. However, it takes a long time for an INTJ to commit and form a relationship with another. Most INTJS will take time to make sure the person they are interested in can meet all of their expectations.
INTJs aren’t a “love at first sight” type of personality. That doesn’t mean they can’t be romantic, but what it does mean is that it will take some time for them to trust you and share their feelings. However, you should feel alleviated knowing that your INTJ already spent a lot of time making sure they wanted a relationship with you before they ever pursued one. Once an INTJ finds a partner that “passes” their intensive screening, they won’t change their minds.
2. INTJs Prefer Deep, Thoughtful Conversations
One requirement INTJs have for their potential partners is the ability to hold sincere, thoughtful conversations. INTJS enjoy deep conversations, so they tend to look for that similar quality in a partner. INTJs enjoy spending time with individuals that are passionate and creative. INTJS do well when their partner is also intuitive because that means plenty of thoughtful conversations.
3. INTJs are Honest
INTJS are famously blunt, and they appreciate honesty. Since they are so honest, they’ll expect a similar level of reliability from their partner. One thing that all INTJS can’t stand is insincerity and faking. If an INTJ senses any of that in another person, they are likely to cut that person out of their lives. Because INTJs are so blunt, they can take, and even enjoy, a similar level of bluntness in return, as long as you aren’t being manipulative or personally attacking them.
If you’re dating an INTJ, then they’ll appreciate you more if you are honest and blunt about everything with them. However, even though they are incredibly honest, INTJs still value their privacy and tend to be private people by nature. So, you may not learn everything about them in one conversation, since it takes time for INTJs to build trust in another person slowly.
4. INTJs Need to be able to Count on Their Partners
Since INTJs are so loyal by nature, they need to be able to count on their partners. When INTJs are children, most of them don’t comprehend how some people cannot mean what they say. When the age into adulthood, they understand they need to be wary of others that lie often or don’t follow through.
INTJs feel that honesty isn’t only ethical; it’s also a practical way to approach life. If they resort to dishonesty, then they can’t trust what’s happening. So, in a relationship, being able to count on their partners means they’ll likely see you as a long-term partner.
For an INTJ, fidelity isn’t the only important part of loyalty. INTJs are very dedicated to their partners, and they want the same from their partners as well. INTJs want a partner that believes in them, and they will believe in their partner. Also, INTJs want a partner they can turn to when they need advice.
5. INTJ Love Often Translates into Help
INTJs have a different way of showing their love and dedication towards their partners. An INTJ will always be there to help their partners achieve their hopes and dreams. INTJs feel that with time and effort, all problems can be solved, even those that involve a lack of wealth. INTJs may not share the same outcomes as you, but they will do their best to guide you when they know what you want.
INTJs like getting the same level of help in return, but they also do quite well on their own. INTJs want a partner that understands the importance of their work, and that supports them as they try to reach their dreams. INTJs are also introverted, so they don’t tend to talk about themselves much. If you want to win your INTJ over, brag about him or her. They don’t tell other people enough about themselves, and others will listen.
6. INTJs Require Alone Time
One of the things INTJs require, and that many different personality types don’t understand is large amounts of alone time. Needing so much alone time has probably broken up your INTJ’s relationships in the past, so you’ll need to be respectful of their needs and wants. When INTJs need their alone time, they don’t want any distractions.
Why do INTJs need so much alone time? When INTJs are alone, they work on their plans and focus on work. If they don’t have the alone time that they need, they won’t be able to get their tasks done. If you don’t allow your INTJ to have his or her alone time, it could be terrible for your future and your INTJ’s job.
7. INTJs Think Their Feelings
INTJs experience strong emotions, just like everybody else on the planet. Sometimes those feelings cause sudden outbursts, which tend to happen when the INTJ feels that something or somebody is acting unfairly. The rest of the time, however, INTJs keep their emotions internal.
You shouldn’t think of this as a self-defense mechanism, and it’s really just a part of the INTJ’s need for privacy. INTJs don’t want others to see our emotions publicly. That’s why some INTJs don’t enjoy PDA as much as some other personalities. INTJs like to take some time analyzing their feelings before they act on them. Remember that INTJs analyze everything.
8. Be Blunt with Your INTJ
Whenever you need to get something through quickly to your INTJ, be blunt. We already mentioned that most INTJs are blunt. Not only can an INTJ handle bluntness in return, they appreciate it, especially when a loved one is saying it. Some people are afraid of being blunt, but if you are with an INTJ, you’ll need to learn how to do this. INTJs prefer to resolve issues rather than avoid confrontation.
9. An Argument Doesn’t Mean Your INTJ is Upset
INTJs are different when they argue. While other personality types often argue to prove something, get their way, or get some anger out of them, INTJs will argue to test an idea out and take it for a trial run. Most INTJs don’t mind admitting when they are wrong since they enjoy learning new things. However, INTJs know that everybody doesn’t feel that way.
10. INTJs are Hard to Shop For
INTJs often complain that people don’t buy then gifts that they enjoy. However, they are also challenging to shop for since they tend to be so picky. So, if you need to buy your INTJ a gift, you should ask your INTJ what he or she wants. That way, you can’t go wrong.
Although millions of people visit Brandon's blog each month, his path to success was not easy. Go here to read his incredible story, "From Disabled and $500k in Debt to a Pro Blogger with 5 Million Monthly Visitors." If you want to send Brandon a quick message, then visit his contact page here.