Dating an INTP can be both surprising and exciting because of how spontaneous they can be. In the world of personalities, an INTP is an unpredictable wild card that loves to philosophize and shake things up daily. You probably already know that INTPs love spontaneity, so you can expect every day to be different. At some point, your INTP will catch you off guard and change things up, so you’ll need to learn to expect that. INTPs tend to be laid back and are faithful partners that don’t usually commit infidelity.
If you are currently dating an INTP, and you’re trying to learn a bit more about them, then you’ve come to the right place. We’ll cover ten things you need to know about INTPs if you are in a relationship with one.
1. INTPs Need an Intellectual Equal
INTPs need a partner that is their intellectual equal. Since INTPs tend to be cerebral, they won’t be looking for an intense emotional connection. Instead, they enjoy bonding over discussions and debates. INTPs want a partner that can challenge them whenever there is an intense discussion.
Since INTPs often dismiss the necessity of emotions in romantic relationships, that can sometimes harm their emotional connections. Unfortunately, INTPs don’t have much interest or skill when it comes to sharing emotions and bonding over feelings. INTPs fear their emotions. You’ll only see the INTP’s emotions expressed when they are very stressed, or when they experience an outburst.
So, since you are dating an INTP, you’ll need to be understanding whenever your INTP experiences an outburst or has difficulty with his or her emotions. If you can do that, then you’ll be able to help your INTP, and your INTP will forever respect you.
2. INTPs Don’t Express Emotions Verbally
INTPs don’t enjoy addressing their emotions so they won’t verbalize them much. However, they’ll still perform thoughtful actions for their partners. For example, an INTP is more likely to hold your hand or surprise you with a gift to show that they love you rather than saying it. For an INTP’s partner, this could present a problem, especially if the partner needs to hear those three little words, “I love you,” daily. INTPs prefer to show their love through their actions rather than their words and enjoy spending long bouts of quality time with their partners.
3. INTPs Don’t Enjoy Social Situations
Most INTPs aren’t big on socializing and tend to be homebodies. Instead of dealing with large crowds of people, an INTP would rather be at home watching a fascinating documentary or learning something new. Because INTPs aren’t very socially active, it can limit their ability to find romance since most INTPs are happy spending time at home.
Many INTPs require time at home, so they have their necessary alone time. Being around people all day at work often wears them out and makes them less likely to want to go out in the evenings. So, most INTPs meet their partners through work or friends. It takes a lot of time for an INTP to decide if they want more than a friendship from a potential partner.
4. INTPs Enjoy Keeping Things Interesting
If you’re going to keep your INTP happy, then you need to figure out a way to make things interesting. If things get too stagnant for an INTP, then your INTP might find the relationship too dull. INTPs crave new things and find a routine life to be boring. While all INTPs appreciate some things staying consistent, like communication and spending time with their partners, a daily routine is not essential for them. So, INTPs need some predictability like most people, but they don’t want things to become stale.
Since INTPs have vivid imaginations, it’s a great idea to shake up the daily routine now and then. Since INTPs enjoy intellectual stimulation, changing up their daily routine is one way to challenge them while still providing them with plenty of enjoyment. So, new activities and new topics of conversation are always welcome with INTPs.
5. INTPs Appreciate Honesty
INTPs also greatly appreciate honesty. If they catch you lying to them, you’ll lose your good reputation with them immediately. INTPs don’t enjoy holding grudges, but if you do lie to an INTP, then your INTP will probably always hold that against you. Since INTPs are relaxed and accepting individuals, they aren’t easily angered by others. However, lying is one sure-fire way to anger an INTP.
If you are honest with your INTP, they’ll return the favor as well. If you feel that your INTP is being too distant, all you have to do is tell your INTP. Then your INTP will appreciate your honesty and do whatever it takes to balance things out—like spending more time with you. However, of everything that INTPs typically value in life, truth is the most important.
6. INTPs Do Need Space
It’s not a good idea to keep asking your INTP how they are doing, or you might scare your INTP away from you. If you are a clingy person that tends to over text your partner, then you’ll need to avoid doing this if you are with an INTP. INTPs are independent introverts and need time alone. INTPs do enjoy learning, and many of them do that while they are alone. Also, many INTPs require downtime away from others to recharge. If you can respect that need, then your INTP will respect you back.
7. INTPs Enjoy Hugs
If your INTP asks you for a hug, that’s a good thing. INTPs love hugs, but they’ll only ask for a hug from somebody that they enjoy spending time with daily. Since INTPs are introverts, it can feel challenging to get acquainted with them initially. However, once you get to know your INTP, you’ll learn how fun, romantic, and silly an INTP that is comfortable with you can be.
Since INTPs aren’t excellent at expressing their love verbally, they often resort to physical touch to demonstrate their love for another. They’ll give the people they love their undivided attention, and if you return that favor, then your INTP is likely to love you forever. And, if you ever notice your INTP getting down, feel free to bolster your partner with a hug.
8. Don’t Force an INTP to Discuss Feelings
One thing you should never do to an INTP is to force him or her to discuss feelings. INTPs don’t know how to discuss their emotions verbally, and they can find it very challenging at times. If you force your INTP to vocalize feelings, you’ll see immediately that he or she isn’t that great at it. And since most INTPs know they aren’t great at it, they feel uncomfortable doing it. Instead, try to pose an open discussion and tell your INTP you won’t take things personally. Your INTP will be more likely to talk to you then.
9. Be There for Your INTP
If you want to impress your INTP, then realize that you need to be there when your INTP has a distressing emotional outburst. At that point, your INTP is trying to communicate his or her feelings, and that’s not too easy for any INTP. When an INTP has an emotional outburst, it can feel a lot like a toddler having a tantrum. However, if you are there for your INTP during a difficult time and you try to listen, then he or she will forever be in your debt.
10. View Your Relationship Like a Friendship (with Benefits)
For an INTP, hearing the word “relationship” can be a bit scary. INTPs like low-key relationships that don’t intermingle much with family and friends. That’s because it can take a long time, even several years, for an INTP to feel comfortable around somebody. So, if you can view your relationship as a friendship and let it develop and blossom, then you’ll be able to make your relationship with your INTP last a lifetime.
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