INFPs are introverted, feelings-oriented people, making getting to know them and their relationship or dating preferences tricky compared to many other personality types. Yet INFPs aren’t too difficult to understand once you dive into what they’re looking for and what they value in a romantic partner.
Today, let’s look at what INFPs value when it comes to romance and investigate which other personality types might be a great match.
What They Look For
When an INFP looks for a romantic partner, they are very rarely seeking a short-term engagement. In fact, INFPs are usually quite fine when they aren’t involved in any romantic entanglement; their primary emotional consideration is themselves, as their dominant function is introverted feeling or Fi. They spend the majority of their energy developing their own internal understanding or expressing their external intuition energy on their interests.
When an INFP does get lonely, they’re looking for someone they can form a deep connection with. The most accurate term for their ideal partner is nothing less than “soulmate”. They’re looking for a best friend, romantic companion, and someone who fulfills them on an emotional level all at the same time.
Even more importantly, many INFPs feel that they have a central mission or theme in their life. Fulfilling this mission is the primary goal for all INFPs regardless of relationship status. This means that an ideal partner must be at least a companion for this journey and cannot get in the way of that prime goal no matter what.
Because of their focus on authenticity and internal values, INFPs will be more likely to find a partner who shares similar worldviews or values. This includes things like religion, politics, or even their attitude about children. It’s very rare for INFPs to take a partner with whom they disagree on several major points.
In addition, INFPs tend to find those who share their views on fiscal conservation and who aren’t very concerned with possessions and wealth. In fact, many INFPs are just fine wearing secondhand clothes or spending the majority of their money traveling or on experiences rather than objects. They’ll want someone who can accompany them on an adventure rather than a person who wants to accumulate things or money.
Compared to INFJs, INFPs are a little less interested in someone with whom they can constantly converse in a deep way. While it’s important that they can connect with their potential romantic partner on a true and authentic level, they’re less likely to talk frequently about their thoughts, instead making excellent listeners. Thus, INFPs are perhaps a little more compatible with S-types who develop their Intuitive function well enough to bond.
Finally, INFPs are also looking for individuals who know what their authentic self is and who are pursuing the fulfillment of that self over the long term. Nothing will turn an INFP off more than an inauthentic person or someone who seems like they aren’t being honest, either with the INFP in question or with themselves.
In summary, INFPs want someone who is:
- Fiscally conservative
- Same values
- Helpful or supportive or the INFPs inner journey
Potential Trouble Spots
INFPs can run into lots of trouble spots when they’re seeking romantic attachment. Because INFPs focus so well on their feelings, they may find themselves hesitating before leaping into a romantic engagement. As P-types, they aren’t nearly as decisive as J-type personalities and can take a long time to settle on a romantic partner, even if the available evidence indicates that the two would be a good match.
This can lead INFPs to hesitate too long and allow a potential mate to be scooped up by another. However, many INFPs are also aware of this tendency and might try to jump into a relationship too early for fear of missing out. As a result, INFPs can appear flighty or indecisive about relationships and dating, just as they can seem with many other things.
Furthermore, INFPs are very sensitive individuals, especially when it comes to matters concerning their feelings. It’s very easy to hurt the feelings of an INFP, especially if the words are said by their supposed romantic partner. Thus, all partners for INFPs must be careful not to say the wrong words and to phrase any criticism very carefully, particularly if it relates to an INFP’s internal mission or perceived purpose.
Remember, INFPs are dedicated to finding out their authentic selves and pursuing their unique goals above all other factors. Anything said that berates them on this point will be taken quite poorly indeed. Thus, potential or current partners must be careful when doling out criticism, with special care taken to avoid critiquing the INFP’s inner dream or goal.
Finally, INFPs have an inferior extroverted judging function (Te), which makes it difficult for them to express any concerns or problems they might have with the relationship. This can, in the worst case, eventually boil into an explosion of grief at a later time. INFPs and their partners must learn how to converse about emotional issues before things reach a breaking point.
Ideal Partners for INFPs
INFPs can be compatible partners for a wide variety of personality types. Their wide range of unique missions and pursuits for authenticity mean that INFPs can look for very different things in partners, especially as it relates to values or politics.
Remember that INFPs are usually looking for a romantic partner that has the same views as them on major moral or ethical issues, regardless of type.
First and foremost, INFPs will find it easier to connect with other N-types, especially in a deep or meaningful way. N-types see the world in the same general way, using patterns and intuition to understand their place in the universe. INFPs have little patience for small talk, as most N-types do (at least introverted ones).
INFPs will also find extraverts to be a bit draining, so they may prefer someone who is also introverted. Introverts are less likely to draw an INFP out of their head as they mull over their feelings and experiences. On the flip side, a kind and considerate extrovert might be a well-placed match if they know how to coax an INFP out of their shell.
On the P-J axis, many INFPs can work well with either type. With other P-types, INFPs will rarely have their feelings hurt, although decisions will be made very slowly. J-types, on the other hand, can form a good rapport with INFPs. J-types are naturally more talkative than P-types, who are good listeners. So INFPs might pair well with a J-type who knows how to connect with the INFP on a deep level but who won’t make statements that conflict with the INFP’s deep moral values.
Ideal pairings for an INFP might include:
Ultimately, the INFP personality type is one of the rarest in the world, but it’s well worth understanding them if you aren’t one yourself. These artistic individuals are some of the best people on the planet and make wonderful romantic partners for all their devotion and honesty. When you date an INFP, you know what you’re getting: an invaluable benefit for many.
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