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7 ESTJ Compatibility Findings for Relationships and Dating

ESTJs are blunt people that often act unemotional, so it can be challenging to get to know them. While that might sound odd to some given the fact that ESTJs tend to be charming socially, they are protective of their personal feelings and private lives. Because of this deep need for privacy, they can struggle to connect with others emotionally since ESTJs struggle with their emotional intelligence problems. While it takes a long time for an ESTJ to get to know somebody and start a romantic relationship, they use that time wisely because they are trying to meet the perfect long-term partner. Once an ESTJ commits to a person, he or she becomes a stable partner that is honest and willing to go the distance. Because of their deep-seated ability to commit to their significant others, being in a relationship with an ESTJ can be satisfying and rewarding because the commitment will be built on trust.

#1 ESTJs in Romantic Relationships

ESTJs are very focused on personal self-improvement, and they continuously seek ways to grow and improve themselves. ESTJs apply this desire to grow to both their job situations and their relationships. ESTJs tend to be organized people, so they’ll fully dedicate themselves to their self-improvement plans and usually have distinct goals set aside to help them better certain areas of their lives. Since ESTJs are so committed to personal improvement, they’ll also expect their significant others to want to improve themselves continually.

ESTJs also tend to be extremely blunt and honest when it comes to romantic relationships. So, the ESTJ’s significant other will always know where he or she stands in the relationship. If the significant other can’t deal with the ESTJs dedication to planning and self-improvement, then they probably aren’t the right person for an ESTJ. The

ESTJ will always be committed to planning since it’s one of their most substantial gifts. They’ll always plan ways to make decisions they feel will help their self-improvement plans.

In romantic relationships, ESTJs can act unemotional on the outside, which can dismay some of their partners. Since introverted feeling is an inferior function for an ESTJ, they often don’t focus on their own emotions. This issue also means ESTJs can struggle to express their feelings. Since they struggle to voice their feelings in words, they’ll tend to give their partner romantic gifts and use actions to show their love. ESTJs also tend not to understand love language usage, which can make the other partner feel unappreciated. However, if the ESTJ’s significant other can take the time to realize that the ESTJ simply doesn’t understand love language, then the relationship can still proceed without issue.

#2 ESTJs and Commitment

ESTJs aren’t turned off by commitment. Instead, they often seek out potential long-term partners and try to avoid flings. While ESTJs can be challenging to get to know, once they fully commit to their partners, they are very loyal and trustworthy lovers. Once an ESTJ commits to a significant other, the ESTJ is already looking at this relationship as a potential long-term commitment that could include marriage. ESTJs are also outspoken when they date, and while it can take time to get to know them, they aren’t shy about letting people know when they are romantically interested as soon as the ESTJ feels they can trust that potential partner.

#3 ESTJs and Relationship Strengths

The ESTJ’s traits make them naturals at being trustworthy, long-term partners. If their partner needs them to do something for them, the ESTJ will accomplish that task in an organized manner. ESTJs also value traditional family relations, and they like having structured homes that feature plans, calendars, and schedules, so they know what’s happening over the coming days. ESTJs will also demonstrate their love to their partners more often by performing actions instead of using words.

#4 ESTJs and Relationship Weaknesses

Since ESTJs have a natural tendency to schedule things for themselves and others, some significant others may feel that the ESTJ is overly controlling. However, the ESTJ’s trend isn’t towards controlling; it’s focused on organization. That may feel a bit too rigid and overbearing for some people. However, ESTJs can remedy this issue by asking their partners about plans first before committing, instead of just assuming that they can make plans for everybody.

ESTJs also aren’t great at handling their own emotions or understanding the feelings of their partners. Some partners may feel that ESTJs are too dismissive about their feelings. However, if the partner can talk to the ESTJ about the importance of emotions, something the ESTJ already knows he or she lacks, then the ESTJ will be willing to listen and apply feelings to future conversations.

To many ESTJs, emotional conversations feel annoying and unnecessary. However, ESTJs need to understand that discussing emotions helps relationships to grow and become healthier. So, ESTJs may need to learn how to check into their own emotions more often so that they’ll become more comfortable when discussing feelings with their partners.

#5 ESTJs and Communication

ESTJs are known for being logical and blunt when they communicate. Some people may feel that the ESTJ is too aggressive, but the ESTJ’s primary focus is on honesty. In the workplace, the ESTJ’s style of communication usually makes them excellent leaders. ESTJs also make excellent partners because of their dedication to fairness. So, if their partners are willing to see past their blunt nature, they’ll wind up with a loving, truthful long-term partner.

#6 ESTJ Compatible Partners

ESTJs are most compatible with the personality types we’ve listed below.

ESTJ and ISTJ Compatibility
ESTJs are compatible with ISTJs because these two personality types share many of the same traits. However, ISTJs prefer to refresh and recharge while they are alone, while ESTJs prefer to be around people when they refresh and renew. ESTJs and ISTJs match well because they both digest information using a commonsense approach, enjoy planning and scheduling, and work using logic instead of emotions. Plus, both ESTJs and ISTJs are dependable, trustworthy people that enjoy committing to long-term relationships.

ESTJ and ENTJ Compatibility
ENTJs also enjoy planning and organizing things. Much like the ESTJ, ENTJs are also great leaders and enjoy spending time socially rather than staying at home alone. The significant difference between these two personality types has to do with the ESTJ’s focus on concepts rather than facts, which makes the ESTJ very innovative. Both of these personality types are logical and don’t place a tremendous amount of emphasis on emotions. Plus, ESTJs and ENTJs both tend to be very straightforward and trustworthy people.

ESTJ and ISTP Compatibility
ISTPs enjoy going with the flow rather than adhering to a strict schedule, and they also like being alone rather than spending time out socially. However, ISTPs, like ESTJs, focus on common sense and logic, so there isn’t a significant focus on emotions for either one of these personality types. Both ESTJs and ISTPs like practical solutions and don’t enjoy paying much attention to their feelings.

#7 ESTJ Partner Preference

ESTJs enjoy partnering with thinkers when they start relationships. Thinkers typically use introverted or extroverted thinking as either a dominant or auxiliary function. ESTJs make decisions based on their logic and common sense and prefer to spend time with people that use a similar strategy. Since ESTJs are also blunt and honest, they’ll need a partner that understands their straightforwardness. ESTJs don’t enjoy sugar-coating things and sometimes may even sound rude with some of their comments. However, if an ESTJ pairs up with another thinker than that thinker will most likely understand that blunt communication style.


Dating an ESTJ can take a lot of effort due to their wanting to keep their private lives to themselves. If you work hard to break down their walls and earn their trust though, the relationship can be very rewarding.

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