Conflicts are inevitable. You would have conflicts at work, at home, among your friends, with your neighbors and in every facet of your life. As long as human beings have a functioning mind, form opinions and express them in some way, there will be conflicts. It is essential to have conflicts because often the solution makes the world better, or at least the immediate lives better. However, conflicts are a double-edged sword.
If you cannot control a conflict or if you don’t remain calm, then things can spiral into a haywire and you may end up hurting people or making wrong choices. Fortunately, there are ways you can stay calm during conflicts. Practice these simple steps and you would learn to hone your mind and be statesmanlike.
1) Don’t be Judgmental.
Don’t presume and do not draw inferences before you have heard it all. It is very easy to get flared up. When emotions and tempers are running high, when opinions are too contrasting and conflicting, when people don’t agree with one another and worse, when people don’t see eye to eye, conflicts will spiral out of control. You should listen to others and do so actively. Don’t just pretend that you are listening and certainly avoid dismissing what others are saying. When you are a little unnerved, it is natural for your senses to work against the people you don’t want to agree with. You may disagree with something but at least hear it and understand it so you can disagree pragmatically. The moment you start to listen and pay heed to what is being actually said, you will see reason to calm down. The act of active listening itself is calming enough.
2) You Must Work on your Posture.
Don’t be physically aggressive. Don’t let your hands waver or your physical presence tower over others. Try to be as diminutive as possible and that would prevent things from flaring up. Breathe properly. Control your inhaling and exhaling as that would calm you down. Take a quick break, get some tea or coffee and do anything that you can while participating but avoiding a flared up conflict at the same time.
3) Speak Slowly and in a Controlled Tone.
Do not raise your voice unnecessarily. When you lower your voice or speak softly, the other person or people will not be able to keep up with their high pitched voices. They will calm down; that is if they are the ones flared up to begin with.