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39 Funny Church Bulletins

Recent times have seen a declined in self identified Christians in society. In the last two decades an 11% decrease has been seen although an actual increase in evangelicals have occurred. While Christianity is not heading down the road for collapse, it is however not being marginalized in culture. In young adults, the dropout rate of church is high after graduating high school, forcing churches to look at creative ways of equipping students how to live with faith. A collection of funny church bulletins is listed below that capture some unintentional and possibly intentional humor displayed by churches.

22 members were present at the church meeting held at the home of Mrs. Marsha Crutchfield last evening. Mrs. Crutchfield and Mrs. Rankin sang a duet, The Lord Knows Why.

A bean supper will be held Saturday evening in the church basement. Music will follow.

A song fest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday.

Applications are now being accepted for 2 year-old nursery workers.

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be “What is Hell?” Come early and listen to our bell choir practice.

Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.

Diana and Don request your presents at their wedding.

Don’t let worry kill you off – let the church help.

Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

For those who have children and don’t know it, there is a nursery downstairs.

Helpers are needed! Please sign up on the information sheep.

Hymn: “I Love Thee My Ford.”

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don’t forget your husbands.

Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30p.m. Please use the back door.

Men’s Prayer Breakfast. No charge, but your damnation will be gratefully accepted.

National PRAYER & FASTING Conference: The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals.

Next Sunday is the family hayride and bonfire at the Fowlers. Bring your own hot dogs and guns. Friends are welcome! Everyone come for a fun time.

Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

Please welcome Pastor Don, a caring individual who loves hurting people.

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our congregation.

The 1991 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.

The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: “I upped My Pledge – Up Yours.

The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession.

The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility.

The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister’s daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her.

The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The Congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

The music for today’s service was all composed by George Friedrich Handel in celebration of the 300th anniversary of his birth.

The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.

The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.

The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment.

The ushers will come forward and take our ties and offerings.

This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Jones to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.

This evening at 7 pm there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

Thursday night — Potluck Supper. Prayer and medication to follow.

Today’s Sermon: HOW MUCH CAN A MAN DRINK? With hymns from a full choir.

Ushers will eat latecomers.

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

When parking on the north side of the church, please remember to park on an angel.

The below infographic outlines the statistics and trends of religious individuals usage on the internet. An estimated 17% read a religious orientated blog once a month or more. Only 2% follow a pastor or religious leader on Twitter. Almost 30% of those that attend church attend a religious based website.

Religious Internet Usage Statistics

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