Christmas is one of the most anticipated times of year. This joyous season brings out the best in others from bright lights to festive decorations. These short funny Christmas slogans for cards and t-shirts perfectly capture this time of year.
A Christmas shopper’s complaint is one of long-standing.
A Christmas tree, the perfect gift for a guy. The plant is already dead.
A good holiday is one spent among people whose notions of time are vaguer than yours.
A lovely thing about Christmas is that it’s compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.
Although it is pleasant to think about poison at any season, there is something special about Christmas, and I found myself grinning.
Aren’t we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas. You know, the birth of Santa?
At Christmas play and make good cheer, for Christmas comes but once a year.
At Christmas, all roads lead home.
Be careful with drinking this Christmas. I got so drunk last night I found myself dancing in a cheesy bar… or, as you like to call it, delicatessen.
Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love.
Bloody Christmas, here again, let us raise a loving cup, peace on earth, goodwill to men, and make them do the washing up.
Bring on the joy! Bring on the cheer! Bring on the present swap game… I always dominate!
Christmas Eve, a perfect night to express affection for your family, to forgive those who failed you, and to forget past mistakes.
Christmas gift suggestions: To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, your heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example. To yourself, respect.
Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.
Christmas is a magical time of year… I just watched all my money magically disappear.
Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.
Christmas is a time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell the government what they want and their kids pay for it.
Christmas is a time when you get homesick – even when you’re home.
Christmas is a tonic for our souls. It moves us to think of others rather than of ourselves. It directs our thoughts to giving.
Christmas is not about presents. It’s about family… and spiral ham…. and who in the family is bringing the spiral ham?
Christmas is not as much about opening our presents as opening our hearts.
Christmas is the season when you buy this year’s gifts with next year’s money.
Christmas isn’t a season. It’s a feeling.
Christmas isn’t just a day, it’s a frame of mind.
Christmas shopping. Never an easy or a pleasant task.
Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful.
Christmas, here again. Let us raise a loving cup; Peace on earth, goodwill to men, and make them do the washing up.
Christmas, my child, is love in action. Every time we love, every time we give, it’s Christmas.
Christmas: the only time of year you can sit in front of a dead tree eating candy out of socks.
Did you ever notice that life seems to follow certain patterns? Like I noticed that every year around this time, I hear Christmas music.
Did you hear that? It’s either the magical jingling of eight flying reindeer pulling a miniature sleigh or it’s holiday tinnitus…
Do give books – religious or otherwise – for Christmas. They’re never fattening, seldom sinful, and permanently personal.
Don’t say anything, but I think I just saw that creepy elf on the bookcase actually move.
Even before Christmas has said Hello, it’s saying ‘Buy Buy’.
For Christmas this year, try giving less. Start with less attitude. There’s more than enough of that in the world as it is – and people will usually just give it back anyway!
Freshly cut Christmas trees smelling of stars and snow and pine resin – inhale deeply and fill your soul with wintry night.
From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist it would be necessary to invent it.
From home to home, and heart to heart, from one place to another. The warmth and joy of Christmas, brings us closer to each other.
Gifts of time and love are surely the basic ingredients of a truly merry Christmas.
He who has not Christmas in his heart will never find it under a tree.
Home is where the Christmas cookies and presents are!
I bought my brother some gift wrap for Christmas. I took it to the gift wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping.
I haven’t taken my Christmas lights down. They look so nice on the pumpkin.
I love Christmas. I receive a lot of wonderful presents I can’t wait to exchange.
I might not believe in Santa, but I still believe in a good Christmas card!
I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph.
I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.
I’m dreaming of a white Christmas. But if the white runs out I’ll drink the red.
I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way (s)he handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.
If you ask Santa for a lump of coal this Christmas, how will we know if you’re naughty or nice? I guess we’ll never know…
If you can’t wrap Christmas presents well, at least make it look like they put up a good fight.
It may be a cliche, but it’s true – the build-up to Christmas is so much more pleasurable than the actual day itself.
It’s Christmas in the heart that puts Christmas in the air.
It’s not what’s under the Christmas tree that matters, it’s who is around it.
Keep Calm and Wait For Santa.
Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and receipts for all major purchases.
Let’s be naughty and save Santa the trip.
Love came down at Christmas, Love all lovely, Love Divine, Love was born at Christmas, Star and Angels gave the sign.
Love is what is in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.
Love the giver more than the gift.
Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.
Many banks have a new kind of Christmas club in operation. The new club helps you save money to pay for last year’s gifts.
May the spirit of Christmas bring you peace, the gladness of Christmas give you hope, the warmth of Christmas grant you love.
May you be surrounded by ho’s this Christmas season.
May you never be too grown up to search the skies on Christmas eve.
May your longest list this Christmas be the one that counts your blessings.
May your nuts remain uncracked this holiday season.
Mentally I am ready for Christmas, financially I am not ready for Christmas.
My goal this Christmas is to be on both lists: Naughty and Nice.
My husband’s idea of getting the Christmas spirit is to become Scrooge.
Need more Christmas cheer? Do what I do: ask Santa to bring you some cheerleaders!
Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall.
Next to a circus there ain’t nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.
Nothing’s as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas.
Oh, for the good old days when people would stop Christmas shopping when they ran out of money.
Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.
One can never have enough socks. Another Christmas has come and gone and I didn’t get a single pair. People will insist on giving me books.
One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don’t clean it up too quickly.
One of the nice things about Christmas is that you can make people forget the past with a present.
People can’t concentrate properly on blowing other people to pieces properly if their minds are poisoned by thoughts suitable to the twenty-fifth of December.
Probably the reason we all go so haywire at Christmas time with the endless unrestrained and often silly buying of gifts is that we don’t quite know how to put our love into words.
Remember that the important thing is not what you give, or how you wrap it. The important thing, during this very special time of year, is that you save the receipt.
Santa Claus has the right idea – visit people only once a year.
Santa is looking younger each year.
Scientists have now discovered the reason for post-holiday depression: No more presents until your birthday.
Sending Christmas cards is a good way to let your friends and family know that you think they’re worth the price of a stamp.
Some businessmen are saying that this could be the greatest Christmas ever. I always thought the first one was.
Some Christmas tree ornaments do more than glitter and glow, they represent a gift of love given a long time ago.
Some people are born for Halloween, and some are just counting the days until Christmas.
Sure, being on the Nice list gets your more presents, but being Naughty is its own reward.
T’was the night before Christmas, when all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
That warm feeling isn’t just the Christmas spirit. I think you left the oven on.
That’s the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me.
The best Christmas present I got from my husband was a week to do whatever I wanted.
The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other.
The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear.
The magi, as you know, were wise men — wonderfully wise men who brought gifts to the Babe in the manger. They invented the art of giving Christmas presents.
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
The one thing women don’t want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband.
The only app I’d like for Christmas is a “hAPPy holiday.”
The perfect Christmas tree? All Christmas trees are perfect!
There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; he does not believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus.
There’s pure joy in the discovery that the best presents are the people whose presence is solely for bringing presents.
This Christmas let’s try to keep things in their proper perspective. After all, credit cards do have their limits.
This holiday season let us treasure what is truly important in all our lives, the reason for the season: Cookies.
This holiday season, no matter what your religion is, please take a moment to reflect on why it’s better than all the other ones.
Three phrases that sum up Christmas are: Peace on Earth, Goodwill to Men, and Batteries not Included.
Three Wise WOMEN would have asked directions, arrived on time, helped deliver the baby, bought practical gifts, cleaned the stable, made a casserole, and there would be peace on earth!
We wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas and you’re welcome – that song’s now stuck in your head all day.
What Eve is like the Christmas Eve?… In any land, A day so grand – So pure as Christmas Day.
What I like about Christmas is that you can make people forget the past with the present.
What’s the best part of Christmas shopping? When you know it’s a wrap.
When I was a kid I figured out that my parents were Santa. I still have no idea how they made it to all the houses in one night.
When we recall Christmas past we usually find that the simplest things, not the great occasions, give off the greatest glow of happiness.
Who’s the bane of Santa’s life? The elf and safety officer.
Why should you teach your kids Christmas carols? Because they can’t sing and beg for toys at the same time.
Wretched excess is an unfortunate human trait that turns a perfectly good idea such as Christmas into a frenzy of last-minute shopping.
You can feel a real let-down after Christmas. Especially when all you have to look forward to is your New Year’s resolutions.
You can tell a lot about a person by the way they handle three things: a rainy day, lost luggage and tangled Christmas tree lights.
You know those commercials where the present is a brand new car with a big red bow? Yeah, we’re not doing that.
You make me love Christmas even more than I already do. And that’s saying something because I have all nine of Santa’s reindeer tattooed on my left thigh.
You turn candy can’t into candy cane!
You’ll shoot your eye out, kid.
You’re a lot like some of my Christmas tree ornaments. bright, colorful. and a little bit cracked!