101 Funny Cowboy Slogans and Sayings

There are many unique phrases and lingo that has been associated with cowboys. From Texas to the great plains, these funny cowboy slogans and sayings are best associated with these hard working men.

A Cowboy is a man with guts and a Horse.
A cowboy’s hands are as strong as steel as tough as leather put soft enough to touch a hummingbirds wing and the skin of a woman and not disturb the beauty of either.
A decent cowboy does not take what belongs to someone else and if he does he deserves to be strung up and left for the flies and coyotes.
A good cowman knows how to lie to the tax collector and the cattle buyer.
A gun and three of a kind always beats three of a kind.
A lovely horse is always an experience; it is an emotional experience the kind that is spoiled by words.
A real cow boy ain’t the one that gets on a bull to show off to a bunch of girls a real cow boy is the man that is out in the snow at 10 below caring for his cows before anything else.
A true cowboy knows love, pain and shame but never cares about fame.
Ain’t nuthin’ like ridin’ a fine horse in new country.
Always drink upstream from the herd.
Always take a good look at what you’re about to eat. It’s not so important to know what it is, but it’s sure crucial to know what it was.
Any cowboy can carry a tune. The trouble comes when he tries to unload it.
Any man can be thrown from an untamed horse, but it takes a real man to get back on and tame it.
Are you gonna cowboy up or lie there and bleed?
Behind every successful rancher is a wife who works in town.
Being silent, may be your best answer.
Being thrown by a horse is not the worst thing that will happen to you. Relax before you hit the ground.
Boot Hill is full of fellows who pulled their triggers without aiming.
Boots, chaps and cowboy hats. Nothing else matters.
Cowboy Coffee aint’ safe drinkin’.
Cowboy Up or go sit in the Truck.
Cowboys don’t take bath, they just dust off.
Cowboys don’t go around breaking hearts.
Cowboys need nothin’ more than a hat, horse, and the will to ride.
Cowboys they are all so tough on the outside, but so sweet and soft on the inside.
Cowboys work hard, play well, love soft, and are a hell of alot better than any other boy I’ve ever seen.
Dang, Young Whippersnapper.
Do it right or get off the Horse.
Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.
Don’t believe all you hear, spend all you have, or sleep all you want.
Don’t just lay there and bleed.
Don’t squat on your Spurs.
Don’t worry – I’ve been in tighter spots than this.
Don’t interfere with something that ain’t botherin’ you none.
Don’t judge people by their relatives.
Don’t squat with your spurs on.
Every trail has puddles, son.
Generally, you ain’t learnin’ nothing when your mouth’s a-jawin’.
Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.
He’s All Hat and No Cattle.
He’s studying to be a half-wit.
Head ‘em up, move ‘em out!
I gotta go see a man about a horse.
I think I was probably a cowboy in a past life.
I took to the life of a cowboy like a horse takes to oats.
I wish there was time for one more bowl of chili.
I’m gonna pump ya’ full of lead.
I’m your Huckleberry.
If it don’t seem like it’s worth the effort, it probably ain’t.
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen are defrocked, shouldn’t it follow that cowboys would be deranged?
If men were intended to fight like dogs, we would have longer claws and sharper teeth.
If somebody outdraws you boy, walk away. There’s plenty o’ time to look tough when your outta’ sight.
If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin’.
If you get to thinkin’ you’re a person of some influence, try orderin’ somebody else’s dog around.
If you haven’t fallen off a horse…then you haven’t been ridin long enough.
If you think bull riding’ isn’t intense, come sit on his back and try on my saddle. This aint for tenderfoots.
If you’r sittin’ at the counter eatin’ leave your hat on, but if your’ sittin’ at the table take it off.
If you’re ridin’ ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it’s still there with ya.
I’m a cowboy who never saw a cow.
It ain’t the clothes that make the cowgirl, it’s the attitude and heart.
It doesn’t matter if a Cowboy lives in the mountains or in the flats, as long as it’s warm and there is a place to lay his hat.
It don’t take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.
It’s hard to put a foot in a closed mouth.
It’s better to be a has-been that a never-was.
Learn this well, the last ride is never the last ride. And the end is not the end.
Let him ride a horse. He’s a cowboy ain’t he.
Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin’ it back.
Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll enjoy it a second time.
May your belly never grumble, may your heart never ache, may your horse never stumble, may your cinch never break.
Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear, or a fool from any direction.
Never ask a barber if you need a haircut.
Never corner something meaner than you.
Never drink unless your alone or with somebody.
Never kick a cow patty on a hot day.
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
Never slap a mans back if he’s chew’n tobacco.
No hour of life is wasted that is spent in the saddle.
No matter where you go. There you are.
Real cowboys never run, they just ride away.
Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
Some cowboys have to much tumbleweed in their blood to settle down.
Sometimes you get and sometimes you get got.
Talk slowly, think quickly.
Tellin’ a man to git lost and makin’ him do it are two entirely different propositions.
The best way to describe a cowboy Is mud, blood, guts, and glory.
The challenge is not always saying what you mean, but to say it with as few words as possible.
The colder it gets, the harder it is to swaller.
The cowboy must never shoot first, hit a smaller man or take unfair advantage.
The easiest way to eat crow is while it’s still warm.
The horse is a mirror to your soul. And sometimes you might not like what you see in the mirror.
The only good reason to ride a bull is to meet a nurse.
The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back into your pocket.
There is no better place to heal a broken heart than on the back of a horse.
There’s many theories about arguin’ with a Woman, None of them Work.
Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
True cowboys are the ones who aren’t afraid to get dirty.
When in doubt, let your Horse do the thinkin’.
When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
Where the leather is scarred, there is a great story to tell.
You can tell a true cowboy by the type of horse that he rides.
You don’t always have to be first. But being best is a whole lot better.