The Way Different Types Of Employees Survive Meetings
No matter what type of employee you are there are three keys to survive all meetings for everyone. They keys are thinking, speaking, and strategy. However, there are eight different types of employees, they are the deflecter (Bill), the jargonmeister (Linda), the artful dodger (Paula), the boomerang (Martin), the pacifist (Susan), the big leaguer (Jerry), the realist (Agnes), and the old timer (Conrad).
Let us start with the deflector, his name is Bill. His main strategy is to keep all focus off of him by deflecting all questions to other employees. He will say things like “That is an amazing question but I may have read the information wrong. Maybe Martin will know that answer better than I will.”
Next is the jargonmeister her name is Linda. Her strategy is she scoots around the questions she has no answers to by using a bunch of business terms and information that really does not make any sense in the end and answered nothing. She has a lot to say but says nothing at all at the same time.
Then we have the artful dodger and her name is Paula. She tackles a meeting by constantly playing dodge ball with all questions, requests, and inquiries. Paula speaks up to do nothing but change the subject to something else no matter what the topic is hoping that the questions never find her and she can just disappear until the meeting is over.
Then there is the boomerang named Martin. He answers all questions with questions. You never receive a straight answer from him. No matter what question you have for Martin he will come back at you with another question in hopes to speed the meeting up so he can get out of there and get back to his own affairs. Most likely what he wants to get back to have nothing to do with the meeting or the company in general.
The Old Timer
Next is line is the old timer his name is Conrad. Conrad has been around for a long time knows every nook and cranny of the company and only speaks when necessary so to escape the meeting in as quick as time as possible. When conflict starts and the meeting seems to be going nowhere he will finally speak up trying to get it back on track. Arguments are a waste of his time and he wants out of there.
On to the realist named Agnes. Her sights are on nothing else other then the company and their needs. She wants that promotion and will keep everyone focused on what needs done in hopes to get it. That promotion is dangling there and the company’s eyes are on her. She could care less what anyone else thinks they are staying until everything on the list for the day is resolved and finished no matter what.
The Big Leaguer
And then we have the big leaguer Jerry. He is the one that schedules all the meeting although they conveniently fall during times that he cannot attend. He thinks it makes him look more important than everyone else. If Jerry had a few more cancellations he could really show everyone who the boss is, but unfortunately that is not going to happen today, and probably never will.
And last but not least there is the pacifist Susan. She focuses on making everyone else in the room happy because let’s face it, arguments only drag the meeting on longer then they need to be. Susan just wants everyone to get along. Confrontations and arguments make her nervous and well waste her time.