32 Cheesy and Witty Birthday Card Sayings

In the United States, the most popular day for birthdays is October 5th. In the United States, the least common date for a birthday is May 22nd, excluding the leap years. Since your last birthday alone, the world’s population has grown over 76 million. The following collection of witty birthday card sayings are both humorous and witty when it comes to giving a less conventional card message.

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A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.
A jury of your peers has decided that you are guilty on several counts of not looking your age.
Age is a number and mine is unlisted.
Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese.
As you grow older, may you grow richer in all of the most important things in life.
Birthdays are like buses, never the number you want.
Enjoy this brief interval between birth and death. Particularly today. Happy Birthday!
Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
For all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday.
For Your Birthday, I’ve initiated the zombie holocaust in Hawaii. You’re welcome.
Gee, you’re an awful nice lady but you know I’m just here for the free cake… Happy Birthday.
Here’s to a brother who was always making me look like the troublemaker.
I heard you’re coming to town, so I’ve started getting prepared for when you wash in.
I made you a birthday cake, but then ate it. But that’s ok, because I have a great metabolism.
I think it’s time to start being honest about your age. You need to start including your B.C. years?
I told you your face would stay that way if you kept making faces. Happy Birthday!
If I fit this entire piece of cake in my mouth / Will you forget I didn’t get you an actual present?
If you look any younger for your age, scientists will be demand to study your secret of slow aging.
It’s debatable whether birthdays are actually good or bad for you. Each birthday that you have lowers your life expectancy by one year. On the other hand, those who have the most birthdays tend to have the highest life expectancy.
Like many women my age, I am 28 years old.
Live as long as you may. The first twenty years are the longest half of your life.
Looking fifty is great – if you’re sixty.
Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.
Remember when you were young and innocent? Well you’re still kinda young, but you’re definitely not innocent! Happy Birthday!
Surprise! For your birthday… I just got you a card.
To the brother I never wanted. Happy Birthday!
Tropical islands are no vacation. There’s tidal waves, shark bites, sun stroke… Maybe I should take your place and you can sit at my desk, well out of danger.
Well, who would have guessed a stinker like you would have grown up to be so nice! Happy Birthday!
When I have a birthday I take the day off. But when my wife has a birthday, she takes a year or two off.
You call that a beard? I got moss on my back older than you.
You’re older than you used to be, but you’ll never be as old as me! Happy Birthday!
Your country gave you your first birthday present. Your citizenship!

The most famous birthday song redition was performed by Marilyn Monroe to John F. Kennedy for this birthday, titled “Happy Birthday, Mr. President.” The world’s most expensive birth certificate belonged to John McCartney and was auctioned for over $84,000. The most celebrate date of birth in the world is Christmas day. The below infographic outlines interesting facts and statistics about birthdays.

Birthday Facts