45 Examples of Witty Email Signatures

An email signature appears at the bottom of every email automatically and normally includes your name, organization, role, and contact information. Only 52% of professionals use an email signature. 70% include their name while 58% include their organization. Approximately 60% include their landline with 28% listing their cell phone. Social media networks are rarely mentioned in email signatures. Of those that are, Twitter accounts for the majority at 7.2% of signatures. The following listing of witty email signatures add a bit of humor that may inspire you to include in your email signature.

A billion Chinese can’t be wrong: eat rice.
A man spends the first half of his life learning habits that shorten the other half of his life.
A true friend is one who thinks you’re a good egg even though you’re half-cracked.
Accidents don’t just happen. They must be carelessly planned.
According to my calculations the problem doesn’t exist.
After all is said and done, more is said than done.
All social problems have a technical solution. That solution may or may not be socially acceptable.
Always remember to pillage before you burn.
Another month ends. All targets met. All systems working. All customers satisfied. All staff eagerly enthusiastic. All pigs fed and ready to fly.
Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for.
Be true to your teeth, or they’ll be false to you.
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you’re a mile away, and you have their shoes too.
Computers follow your orders, not your intentions.
Dear IRS, Please cancel my subscription.
Deja Moo: The feeling that you’ve heard this bull before.
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
Don’t spend two dollars to dry clean a shirt. Donate it to the Salvation Army instead. They’ll clean it and put it on a hanger.
Next morning buy it back for seventy-five cents.
Earn cash in your spare time – blackmail friends.
Enjoy your job, make lots of money, work within the law. Choose any two.
Everything is always okay in the end, if it’s not, then it’s not the end.
If it’s not broken, let’s fix it till it is.
If you and your friend are being chased by a grizzly bear, don’t worry about out-running the bear, just worry about out-running your friend.
In the beginning was the word, and the word was content-type: text/plain.
It’s been swell, but the swelling’s gone down.
Many seek good nights and lose good days.
My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
No trees were destroyed in the sending of this message, however, a significant number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced.
Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.
Note on a door: Out to lunch… if not back by five, out for dinner also.
Only 10% are Mac users. But remember, we’re the top 10%.
Real men send email in plain text.
Save time… see it my way.
Somewhere, there is a .sig so funny that reading it will cause an aneurism. This is not that .sig.
The above was written as part of an attempt to waste time.
The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.
There are only 10 types of people in this world… those who understand binary, and those who don’t.
There are two rules for success: 1. Never tell everything you know.
This email is insanely great. We think it’s the best email we’ve ever made.
This is not a sig. I am too lazy to steal one, perhaps you could loan me yours?
This message transmitted on 100% recycled electrons.
This message was brought to you by the numbers 0 and 1.
Using the internet as it was originally intended… for the further research of pipe bombs.
Well, I’ve got to get back to work. When I stop rowing, the slave ship just goes in circles.
When you’re in up over your head, the first thing to do is close your mouth.
You had mail, but the super-user read it, and deleted it!

An estimated three fourths of email signatures are real information while the remaining are fake and used purely for marketing. One of the top signature don’ts to think about is thee appropriate nature of including social media profile links and the inclusion of an image in the signature. If an image is used, it should be from a fixed URL so that it will not be read as an attachment.

Anatomy of an Email Signature