40 Fabulous Gary Chapman Quotes

Dr. Gary Chapman is best known for writing the book, ‘The Five Love Languages:The Secret to Love That Lasts.’ With more than four decades of relationship experience, Dr. Chapman has aired on more than 400 stations. Here is a look at some of the most notable Gary Chapman quotes.

“All of us blossom when we feel loved and wither when we do not feel loved.”

“Appreciation is that inner sense that your partner values your contribution to the relationship.”

“At the heart of mankind’s existence is the desire to be intimate and to be loved by another. Marriage is designed to meet that need for intimacy and love.”

“Conflicts are not a sign you’ve married the wrong person. They simply affirm you are human.”

“Don’t be a victim of the urgent. In the long run, much of what seems so pressing right now won’t even matter. What you do with your children will matter forever.”

“Empathetic listening is an awesome medication for the hurting heart.”

“Forgiveness is not a feeling; it is a commitment. It is a choice to show mercy, not to hold the offense up against the offender. Forgiveness is an expression of love.”

“I am amazed by how many individuals mess up every new day with yesterday. They insist on bringing into today the failures of yesterday and in so doing, they pollute a potentially wonderful day.”

“I have been doing marriage counseling for about 15 years and I realized that what makes one person feel loved, doesn’t make another person feel loved.”

“I need to be loved by someone who chooses to love me, who sees in me something worth loving.”

“I think people desperately want to feel love.”

“If we are to develop an intimate relationship, we need to know each other’s desires. If we wish to love each other, we need to know what the other person wants.”

“Lack of love from parents often motivates their children to go searching for love in other relationships. This search is often misguided and leads to further disappointment.”

“Life’s deepest meaning is not found in accomplishments, but in relationships.”

“Love doesn’t erase the past, but it makes the future different.”

“Love is a choice you make everyday.”

“Love is always freely given. Love cannot be demanded. We can request things of each other, but we must never demand anything. Requests give direction to love, but demands stop the flow of love.”

“Love is reaching out to try to get to the other person.”

“Love is something you do for someone else, not something you do for yourself.”

“Love makes requests, not demands.”

“Many couples have never learned the tremendous power of verbally affirming each other.”

“Most of us have more potential than we will ever develop. What holds us back is often a lack of courage.”

“Nobody has the power to make you miserable . . . unless you choose to give them that power. Choose to enjoy every drop of today.”

“Our most basic emotional need is not to fall in love but to be genuinely loved by another, to know a love that grows out of reason and choice, not instinct.”

“Our spouse will usually interpret our message based on our tone of voice, not the words we use.”

“People do not get married planning to divorce. Divorce is the result of a lack of preparation for marriage and the failure to learn the skills of working together as teammates in an intimate relationship.”

“People tend to criticize their spouse most loudly in the area where they themselves have the deepest emotional
need.”

“Recent research has indicated that the average individual listens for only seventeen seconds before interrupting and interjecting his own ideas.”

“Remember that your ultimate goal is for your children to grow up secure in your love, strong in their faith, and with sound character.”

“Requests give direction to love, but demands stop the flow of love.”

“Respect has to do with feeling that your potential spouse has positive regard for your personhood, intellect, abilities and personality.”

“Success is not to be measured by the amount of money you possess or the position you attain but rather in how you use both.”

“The decision to get married will impact one’s life more deeply than almost any decision in life.”

“The object of love is not getting something you want but doing something for the well-being of the one you love.”

“To feel loved is to have the sense that the other person genuinely cares about your well-being.”

“True love cannot begin until the”in love” experience has run it’s course.”

“We are trained to analyze problems and create solutions. We forget that marriage is a relationship, not a project to be completed or a problem to solve.”

“We cannot rely on our native tongue if our spouse does not understand it. If we want them to feel the love we are trying to communicate, we must express it in his or her primary love language.”

“What we dislike in others is often a weakness in our own lives.”

“What we do for each other before marriage is no indication of what we will do after marriage.”

Dr. Gary Chapman, a marriage expert discusses the keys to having the marriage you always wanted and how to achieve your relationship dreams.

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