37 Breathtaking Evan Esar Quotes

Evan Esar is an American humorist best known for his comic and quotes. Many of Esar quotes are found in crossword puzzles. Here is a look at some of the best Evan Esar quotes to know.

“A man is known by the company he keeps, but a woman is known by the company she keeps waiting.”

“A signature always reveals a man’s character – and sometimes even his name.”

“America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.”

“An expert is someone who takes something you already know and makes it sound confusing.”

“Anger is the feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind.”

“Character is what you have left when you’ve lost everything you can lose.”

“Children grow out of childhood, but parents never grow out of parenthood.”

“Compare what you want with what you have, and you’ll be unhappy; compare what you deserve with what you have, and you’ll be happy.”

“Conscience is what makes a boy tell his mother before his sister does.”

“Definition of a Statistician: A man who believes figures don’t lie, but admits than under analysis some of them won’t stand up either.”

“Definition of Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures.”

“Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space.”

“Good teachers cost a lot; but, poor teachers cost a lot more.”

“Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn’t done it.”

“If it required some effort to go from today to tomorrow, some people would always remain in yesterday.”

“If you can’t bear to have your face stepped on, don’t try to climb the ladder of success.”

“If you don’t like to make excuses or apologies, stop making promises.”

“It takes far more courage to violate a custom than a law.”

“Nothing ages your car as much as the sight of your neighbor’s new one.”

“Success is the good fortune that comes from aspiration, desperation, perspiration,and inspiration.”

“The car was invented as a convenient place to sit out traffic jams.”

“The difference between us and other people is that their money looks bigger and their troubles smaller.”

“The girl with a future avoids a man with a past.”

“The lazy man claims he is too heavy for light work and too light for heavy work.”

“The man who avoids debt doesn’t have to worry about avoiding his creditors.”

“The mint makes it first, it is up to you to make it last.”

“The reason why men who mind their own business succeed is that they have so little competition.”

“There are two kinds of leaders: those who are interested in the flock, and those who are interested in the fleece.”

“There would be no population explosion if people who are trying to keep the wolf from the door wouldn’t let the stork fly in through the window.”

“There’s only one thing worse than to live without working, and that is to work without living.”

“Think twice before you speak, and then you may be able to say something more insulting than if you spoke right out at once.”

“This may be the age of automation, but love is still being made by hand.”

“Under dictatorship, the people in prison are always superior to the people who put them there.”

“When laziness attacks a woman, it always avoids her tongue.”

“Worry makes people thin, except when they worry about being fat.”

“You can’t judge the ability of a doctor by the amount of praise the undertakers give him.”

“Zoo: An excellent place to study the habits of human beings.”

Here is a compilation to some of the best Evan Esar quotes ever recorded.

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