36 Famous Golf Quotes and Funny Golf Sayings

A list of 36 famous and funny quotes about golf from Tiger Woods and others.

“I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles.” - G.K. Chesterton

“Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it’s open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.” - Dave Barry

“Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.” - Tiger Woods

“The greatest thing about tomorrow is, I will be better than I am today. And that’s how I look at my life. I will be a better golfer, I will be a better person, I will be a better father, I will be a better husband, I will be a better friend. That’s the beauty of tomorrow.” - Tiger Woods

“Stay true to yourself and listen to your inner voice. It will lead you to your dream.” - James Ross

“It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. It took one afternoon on the golf course.” - Hank Aaron

“If you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even putt.” - Dean Martin

“To find a man’s true character, play golf with him.” - P.G. Wodehouse

“Sometimes not getting what you want is a brilliant stroke of luck.” - Lorii Myers

“Mistakes are part of the game. It’s how well you recover from them, that’s the mark of a great player.” - Alice Cooper

“Golf… is the infallible test. The man who can go into a patch of rough alone, with the knowledge that only God is watching him, and play his ball where it lies, is the man who will serve you faithfully and well.” - P.G. Wodehouse

“if you gone come in second, you’re just the first loser!” - Tiger Woods

“I call upon all nations to do everything they can to stop these terrorist killers. Thank you. Now watch this drive.” - George W. Bush

“Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an ever smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose.” - Winston Churchill

“I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators.” - Gerald R. Ford

“Golf, like measles, should be caught young.” - P.G. Wodehouse

“I started watching golf for the first time yesterday. I`m really worried about myself. I was actually enjoying it.” - Ewan McGregor

“The value of routine; trusting your swing.” - Lorii Myers

“Golf is a game to be played between cricket and death.” - Colin Ingleby-Mackenzie

“Golf: A plague invented by the Calvinistic Scots as a punishment for man’s sins.” - James Barrett Reston

“To me, the most confusing part about golf is that I don’t know whether I’d rather actually be playing golf, or sitting on the green composing haikus about the landscaping.” - Jarod Kintz

“A sand trap is like a politician in its duality. It represents two opposing viewpoints. You see, it was designed to trap your ball. So it exists to have balls land in it. But it was also designed to be avoided. So it also exists to not have balls land in it. This is the beauty of golf. The game of golf is a Zen koan in action.
” - Jarod Kintz

“When we watch pro golfers, we expect them to play well, to make the shots we know we can’t, and to be entertaining. Their expectation, however, is very different. They expect to succeed!” - Lorii Myers

“True sportsmanship is excellence in motion!” - Lorii Myers

“I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone’s game: It’s called an eraser.” - Arnold Palmer

“Golf is a puzzle without an answer. I’ve played the game for 50 years and I still haven’t the slightest idea of how to play.” - Gary Player

“If you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play at it, it’s recreation. If you work at it, it’s golf.” - Bob Hope

“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” - Wayne Gretzky

“As you walk down the fairway of life, you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round.” - Ben Hogan

“Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula. And I took a 7 to do that.” - Jim Murray

“The only sure rule in golf is he who has the fastest cart never has to play the bad lie.”
Mickey Mantle

“The uglier a man’s legs are, the better he plays gold. It’s almost a law.” - H. G. Wells

“Sex and gold are the two things you can enjoy even if you’re not good at them.” - Kevin Costner

“Swing hard in case you hit it.” - Dan Marino

“Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.” - Jack Benny

“The most important shot in golf is the next one.” - Ben Hogan

The below infographic lists the top golfers and average winnings. Golf has risen in popularity resulting in over 61 million golfers around the world.

Top Golfers Around the World and Statistics