Kerry Patterson is the founder of VitalSmarts and author of more than a dozen books. As the creator of numerous award winning training programs, Patterson now focuses on training and leadership development. Here is a look at some of the most memorable Kerry Patterson quotes to familiarize yourself with.
“A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in baskets of silver.”
“An apology is a statement that sincerely expresses your sorrow for your role in causing—or at least not preventing—pain or difficulty to others.”
“As much as others may need to change, or we may want them to change, the only person we can continually inspire, prod, and shape—with any degree of success—is the person in the mirror.”
“At the core of every successful conversation lies the free flow of relevant information.”
“At the end of the day, what qualifies people to be called “leaders” is their capacity to influence others to change their behavior in order to achieve important results.”
“Changing deeply entrenched habits invariably requires help, information, and real support from others. Get a coach, and you’ll make change far more likely.”
“Goals without deadlines aren’t goals; they’re merely directions.”
“If the story is unflattering and the feeling is anger, adrenaline kicks in.”
"Whatchutalkinbout Willis?" -Kerry Patterson and Steve Sheranian @ssheranian getting acting directions at #VSREACH pic.twitter.com/wt2asyLYTn
— VitalSmarts (@VitalSmarts) July 30, 2014
“If you stop pushing so hard? Or if you don’t try to escape? What horrible outcome makes game playing an attractive and sensible option?”
“In fact, with experience and maturity we learn to worry less about others’ intent and more about the effect others’ actions are having on us.”
“Instead, success relies on the capacity to systematically create rapid, profound, and sustainable changes in a handful of key behaviors.”
“It’s interesting to watch what happens when people are presented with and questions after being stuck with Fool’s Choices.”
“It’s the most talented, not the least talented, who are continually trying to improve their dialogue skills. As is often the case, the rich get richer.”
“Let’s say that your significant other has been paying less and less attention to you. You realize he or she has a busy job, but you still would like more time together.”
“Nothing fails like success. In other words, when a challenge in life is met by a response that is equal to it, you have success. But when the challenge moves to a higher level, the old, once successful response no longer works—it fails; thus, nothing fails like success.”
“People who are skilled at dialogue do their best to make it safe for everyone to add their meaning to the shared pool–even ideas that at first glance appear controversial, wrong, or at odds with their own beliefs.”
Kerry Patterson talks #storytelling @VitalSmarts @TrybalPerform #fedora pic.twitter.com/zo8B3wnNBE
— Lex Thompson (@alexsysthompson) July 29, 2015
“Practice doesn’t make perfect; perfect practice makes perfect.”
“Remember, to know and not to do is really not to know.”
“Second, clarify what you really don’t want. This is the key to framing the and question. Think of what you are afraid will happen to you if you back away from your current strategy of trying to win or stay safe.”
“Since we’re not required to set aside money for every burger we consume (to cover the real financial cost of the burger), the long-term costs of carrying extra weight remain invisible.”
“Skilled people Start with Heart. That is, they begin high-risk discussions with the right motives, and they stay focused no matter what happens.”
“So, what’s the first step to changing norms? It’s breaking the code of silence around the problem that always sustains the status quo.”
“The average human being is actually quite bad at predicting what he or she should do in order to be happier, and this inability to predict keeps people from, well, being happier.”
“The key to real change lies not in implementing a new process, but in getting people to hold one another accountable to the process.”
What we're #reading: "Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High" by Kerry Patterson, et al. pic.twitter.com/HwmtM5CWT0
— UT Austin Compliance (@UTAustinCCO) March 11, 2016
“The mistake most of us make in our crucial conversations is we believe that we have to choose between telling the truth and keeping a friend.”
“The next two sources of influence that routinely act on you are equally easy to spot. The people who surround you both motivate and enable your habits.”
“The Pool of Shared Meaning is the birthplace of synergy.”
“Under the influence of adrenaline, blood leaves our brains to help support our genetically engineered response of “fight or flight,” and we end up thinking with the brain of a reptile.”
“What bad thing will happen if you stop pushing so hard? Or if you don’t try to escape? What horrible outcome makes game-playing an attractive and sensible option?”
“When it comes to risky, controversial, and emotional conversations, skilled people find a way to get all relevant information (from themselves and others) out into the open.”
“When we first trained people to deal with ability problems, it all seemed so simple. You ask others for their ideas, you get to hear their best thoughts, and they feel empowered. What could be easier?”
“You know what? We need to talk about this. I’m glad you asked the question. Thank you for taking that risk. I appreciate the trust it shows in me.”
Kerry Patterson discusses some of his most memorable tips to influence change based on his New York Times bestselling book, ‘Influencer: The New Science of Leading Change.’
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