32 Humorous and Witty Tombstone Epitaphs

Death rituals can vary by region of the world, religion, and era of time. Some of the most popular and timeless symbols of death are considered to be the skull, skull and cross bones, skeleton, tombstone, coffin, and scythe. The Cypress Tree is one of the most popular choices for a graveyard due to its belief to preserve bodies. Flags are flown at half mast to show a symbol of mourning. The following collection of witty tombstone epitaphs are from real cemeteries around the world illustrating the dismal fate met by some.

Beneath this stone lies a merry lass. Who aimed for the brake and hit the gas.

Beneath this stone my wife doth lie now she’s at rest and so am I.

Bill Blake was hanged by mistake.

He called Bill Smith a liar.

He got a fish-bone in his throat and then he sang an angel note.

He was young he was fair. But the Injuns raised his hair.

Here lays Butch, we planted him raw. He was quick on the trigger, but slow on the draw.

Here lie the bones of Joseph Jones who ate while he was able. But once overfed, he dropt down dead and fell beneath the table. When from the tomb, to meet his doom, He arises amidst sinners. Since he must dwell in heaven or hell, Take him – whichever gives the best dinners.

Here lies [name] Age 102. The Good Die Young.

Here lies a man named Zeke. Second fastest draw in Cripple Creek.

Here lies an Atheist all dressed up and no place to go.

Here lies Ann Mann, who lived an old maid but died an old Mann. December 8, 1767

Here lies Johnny Yeast. Pardon me for not rising.

Here lies Lester Moore. Four slugs from a .44. No Les No More.

Here lies the body of Elred. At least he will be when he is dead. But now at this time he’s still alive, 14th August ’65.

Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake. Stepped on the gas instead of the brake.

Here lies the body of Margaret Bent. She kicked up her heels and away she went.

I was somebody. Who, is no business of yours.

I would rather be here than in Texas.

Once I wasn’t and the I was and now I ain’t all over again.

Rab McBeth who died for the want of another breath.

Rebecca Freeland 1741. She drank good ale, good punch and wine, and lived to the age of 99.

Sir John Strange. Here lies an honest lawyer. And that is Strange

Stranger tread this ground with gravity. Dentist Brown is filling his last cavity.

The children of Israel wanted bread and the Lord sent them manna, Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife and the Devil sent him Anna.

The wise, the sober and the brave must try the cold and silent grave.

There just wasn’t enough time for these individuals. Here lies the father of 29. He would have had more but he didn’t have time.

Thomas Kemp. Who lived by wool and died by hemp.

Under the sod and under the trees. Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.He is not here, there’s only the pod. Pease shelled out and went to God.

When your razor is dull but you need a shave think of the man who lies in this grave.

You should see the other guy.

The season of the dead is dedicated as being between October 31st and November 2nd, where an opportunity is presented to make peace with the dead. Having inscriptions on tombstones such as a book can represent religious beliefs such as the book of life from the Bible. The below infogaphic outlines the many symbols and representations of the dead.

Gravestone Symbolism

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About Brandon Gaille

CEO of the internet marketing company ByReputation.com, which specializes in SEO, social media, reputation management, video production, and web design. Brandon is a serial entrepreneur that has founded five multi-million dollar companies. He is widely known as one of the top marketing minds in the United States.

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