195 Funny Clever Sayings about Life and Love

A list of 195 clever sayings and quotes about life and love to get you thinking.

“A clever man is one who never shows his cleverness to others”

“its better to know what you think you know, then not to know nothing at all.”

“A balanced diet means a cookie in both hands.”

“A candle is never diminished by lighting another candle.”

“A fool isn’t someone who is wrong, a fool is someone who is afraid of being wrong.”

“A man likes his wife to be just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness, and just stupid enough to admire it.”

“A person is talented only when he has the talent to express his talent.”

“A person who asks a question is a fool for 5 minutes..but a person who don’t is a fool forever.”

“A poor man with weird habits is an idiot, a rich man with weird habits is eccentric.”

“A train station is where the train stops. A bus station is where the bus stops. On my desk, I have a work station.”

“Advice…a clever man doesnt need it…a fool won’t take it…”

“After one realizes he’s been a fool,he’s not a fool anymore.”

“All is Legal. Until you get Caught…”

“All people have a photographic memory, some just don’t have the film. I do, but it never develops quite right…”

“Always forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.”

“Always say what you mean and mean what you say.”

“An eye for an eye will ultimately, leave the whole world blind.”

“Anger is one letter short of danger.”

“Anyone can be glamorous. All you have to do is to stand still and look stupid.”

“As technology develops we will do what we did in half the time, yet we are more stressed, more busy and can’t get things done.”

“Build a man a fire, he’s warm for a day. Light a man on fire and he’s warm for the rest of his life.”

“Clever people master life; the wise illuminate it and create fresh difficulties.”

“Clever people will recognize and tolerate nothing but cleverness.”

“Cleverness is what a guy has, well at least he’s got something besides brains!!!”

“Climbing the stairs step by step because you were to afraid to take the elevator.”

“Copying from a single source is called plagiarism, copying from multiple source is called research.”

“Did you sleep well? No, I made a couple of mistakes.”

“Do unto others as you would have other do unto you.”

“Do you often find yourselves questioning a question with a question when questioned?”

“Don’t live in the past because the future may become your past fast!”

“Don’t trust me I’m a liar.”

“Early bird gets the worm, but the early hunter gets the bird.”

“Every rule has an exception. Especially this one.”

“Fly straight or get shot down.”

“Flying is easy! Just jump off a building and try not to hit the ground!”

“Give a man fish, he’ll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he’ll sit all day in a boat drinking beer.”

“Half of this planet is dieing of starvation and the other half is on a diet.”

“He who falls into the water doesn’t drown, but the one who stays in it does.”

“He who smiles in the face of adversity clearly has a scapegoat.”

“He who waits to take the first step, will spend his entire life on one foot.”

“He who waits, will be late for the rest of his life.”

“How can you tell me to never say never when you just said never?”

“I am not always right but I am never wrong.”

“I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.”

“I asked my parents what’s it like to have such an awesome kid, they told me to ask my grandparents.”

“I could act normal, but it would be acting and it wouldn’t be normal.”

“I did today, what I should do tomorrow. So now what?”

“I didn’t fail math. I just found a lot of ways not to do it.”

“I hate two faced people. It’s hard to decide which face to slap first.”

“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life… Provided I die in the next hour or so.”

“I haven’t failed at anything, I’ve just found all the wrong ways of doing it!!”

“I like to spoon after I fork.”

“I never do anything by accident. I just like people to think I do.”

“I started out with nothing… and I still have most of that!”

“I thought you would have realized by now that no one loves you.”

“I’d give my right arm to be ambidextrous.”

“I’ll jump in front of a train for you, as long as the train is not moving.”

“I’m leery of people who like me.”

“I’m not clever, I just don’t know how to be stupid.”

“I’m not random you just don’t think as fast as me.”

“If all boys are the same, why are girls so picky?”

“If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving is not for you.”

“If at first you don’t succeed, try again until you bleed.”

“If at first you don’t succeed, try and fail again…”

“If I look confused… I probably am.”

“If life gives you lemons. Eat carrots.”

“If life is so hard how come so many idiots are doing it?”

“If men had wings and bore black feathers, Few of them would be clever enough to be crows.”

“If nobody is perfect then I must be a nobody.”

“If practice makes perfect,and no one is perfect,then why practice?”

“If the grass is always greener on the other sides I want to be color blind.”

“If the grass is greener on the other side, turn on your sprinkler!”

“If the grass is greener on the other side, you can bet the water bill is higher.”

“If the grass looks greener on the other side its time to fertilize yours.”

“If there is evil in this world it lurks in the hearts of man.”

“If we do not ever take time how can we ever have time.”

“If you aim at nothing, your accuracy will be immense.”

“If you are ever looking for something you will find it in the last place you look.”

“If you believe that guns are the cause of murders and other crimes then pencils must be responsible for misspelled words.”

“If you can’t convince them, confuse them.”

“If you can’t see the bright side, shine the dull side.”

“If you give a man a fish he will eat for a day, if you give a man a fishing rod, he will probably swap it for a fish.”

“If you think you’re nobody, just recall who’s perfect!”

“If you try to fail and succeed, then which have you done?”

“If you want people to remember you. Borrow money from them.”

“If you’re going through hell, just keep going.”

“If you’re not very clever you should be conciliatory.”

“Imagination is a power you can’t imagine.”

“In our pursuit to find the enemy we come face to face with ourselves.”

“Is the cup half empty or half full? Why hasn’t someone filled the cup already?”

“It is one thing to be clever and another to be wise.”

“It’s good to be clever, but not to show it.”

“It’s not necessary to be educated, to be intelligent.”

“Its better to have tried and failed, than not to have tried at all.”

“Its good to be clever. But whats really clever is not showing it.”

“Just cause you’re paranoid doesn’t mean that everyone isn’t out to get you!”

“Life has its ups and downs, use the ups to overcome the downs!”

“Life is like a ten speed bike, most of us have gears we never use…”

“Life may give you sh*t but that’s what toilet paper is for.”

“Light a man a fire and he is warm for the night. Light a boy a fire and he burns down the house.”

“Light a man a fire and he’ll be warm for the night, light a man on fire and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.”

“Love all, trust a few.”

“Love is like a rose in the winter, only the strong survive.”

“Love is like a wind,..you can feel it but you can’t see it.”

“Money does not buy happiness but, it sure pays off stress.”

“Most people who drive in a hurry are never in a hurry.”

“My favorite text message “I will be there in 5 minutes, if not read again.”

“My parents told me “You watch too much TV and should try reading more!” So I turned on the subtitles.”

“Never point your finger at some one, you will always have three fingers pointing back at you.:

“Never value first impressions cos along with it comes deception.”

“No matter where you go, there you are!”

“One is the loneliest number.”

“One word could save the world, Communication.”

“Opportunity knocks but once, so be sure and leave a forwarding address.”

“Over analysis creates paralysis.”
“Pain only means you’re still alive.”

“Patience is not a virtue, it is a waste of time.”

“Patience is not the ability to wait, but the ability to keep a good attitude while waiting.”

“People are like chocolates some soft centered some hard some are just plane nutty.”

“People talk so much. Yet say so little.”

“Problem free life never makes a strong person.”

“Push will get a person almost anywhere- except through a door marked pull.”

“Remember, wherever you are, that’s exactly the place to be.”

“Remember..Less is More, but then if Less is More, just think how much More, More would be.”

“Sell a man a fish, he will eat for a day, teach a man to fish, you’ll be out of a job…”

“Skill is luck becoming a habit.”

“Sometimes the most clever thing to say is nothing at all.”

“Speed Kills, Kills Time…”

“Spoon feeding teaches us nothing, except the shape of the spoon.”

“Stupidity is the greatest disguise for the clever, if, you can pull that off.”

“Sure hard work pay’s off in the future! But Laziness Pay’s off Right Now!”

“Technology is not complete if I can’t download money.”

“The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree…Yeah but it could roll.”

“The day you realize you’re not as young as you used to be is the day you start dying.”

“The early bird catches the early worm…”

“The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.”

“The glass is neither half full nor half empty. It’s simply twice as big as it needs to be.”

“The grass is always greener on the other side when you’re not the one mowing it.”

“The grass is greener on the side you water.”

“The grass may be greener on the other side, but then again you still have to mow it…”

“The man that says he can’t and the man that says he can are both right!”

“The message below is a lie, The message above is the truth…”

“The more you know, the more you forget, the more you forget the less you know.”

“The most dangerous lies are the lies you tell yourself.”

“The only difference between genius and stupidity, is that genius has its limits.”

“The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don’t have it.”

“The search for love is like a blind man looking in a dark room for a black cat that was never there in the first place.”

“There are more stars in the sky then there are grains of sand on Earth.”

“There are plenty more fishes in the sea, maybe you just need to swim in a different ocean.”

“There are plenty of fish in the sea, but I like women.”

“There is no chance unless you take one.”

“There’s no “I” in team, there’s no “we” in team either.”

“They say never judge a book by its cover but they also said a picture is worth a thousand words.”

“They say violence isn’t the answer but actions speak louder than words.”

“They say when life gives you lemons…but what happens when life gives you a banana?”

“They say, the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.”

“Those who do not know, do not know that they do not know.”

“Those who Know they do not Know that to Know is to Know what they do not Know!”

“Those who say money can’t buy happiness are shopping at the wrong places!”

“To be clever enough to get all that money, one must be stupid enough to want it.”

“To be old and wise, first you must be young and stupid.”

“To do is too difficult to do.”

“To someone else, we are someone else.”

“Tough times never last, but tough people do.”

“Visits always give pleasure… If not the arrival, the departure.”

“Well I’m here to tell you, if my grass was being watered twice a day, it would be pretty green.”

“What people say, what people do, and what they say they do are entirely different things.”

“When he touched me, I was touched!”

“When in doubt, Google it.”

“When in doubt, mumble.”

“When life gives you lemons, make orange juice and have the world wondering how the hell you did it.”

“When life gives you lemons, say ok lemons…what else you got?”

“When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye!!!!!”

“When life gives you lemons, throw them back and grow your own”

“When life throws you lemons, retaliate, throw watermelons!”

“When push comes to shove, I hope you’re standing next to a cliff.”

“When someone tells you stories of how they wrecked someone, its only a matter of time till its your turn.”

“When someone ties to impress you … It means he/she is already impressed by you!”

“When the going gets rough, you are obviousley in the wrong place.”

“Whether you’re first or last in the queue depends which way your looking.”

“Why is it that when you pay someone a compliment they proceed to list their faults.”

“Wisdom = refined stupidity.”

“Wise man speaks and the fools follows them”

“Wise man talk because they have something to say, fools talk because they have to say something.”

“Without order nothing could exist, But without chaos nothing could evolve.”

“You can only get smarter by playing a smarter opponent.”

“You can’t be late until you show up.”

“You do not become smarter by blowing your own horn. You become smarter by being humble.”

“You do not have to prove something for it to be true. However, you do have to prove something for others to believe it true.”

“You don’t need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.”

“You don’t see it until its not there.”

“You know that you’ve become wise when your sarcasm is so advanced that people actually think you’re stupid.”

“You know what charm is: a way of getting the answer yes without having asked any clear question.”

“You’ll lose a lot of money, chasing women. Buy you’ll never lose women, chasing money.”

“You’ll never be old and wise if you weren’t young and crazy.”

The following below infographic includes a listing of inspiring and thought provoking quotes from Dr. Suess.