17 Fabulous Chuck Lorre Quotes

“According to the rules of comedy, your suffering will be funny after an undetermined length of time. Maybe not while you’re having your gangrenous leg sawed off, watching your home burn down or learning how to be intimate with your cellmate, but, in the big scheme of things, soon.”

“Don’t forget that you are the product of a culture that went stark raving mad about ten thousand years ago. Adjust your thinking accordingly.”

“For every man that ever walked the Earth, except maybe the sociopaths, when it comes to talking to pretty girls… it’s just stark terror.”

“I am wired on some deep level to seek out something to be worried and obsess about.”

“I believe I’m growing skeptical of cynicism.”

“I believe I’ve spent my life expecting people to behave in a certain way. I believe that when they didn’t behave according to my expectations, I became angry, sad, confused and occasionally fearful.”

“I believe that the Laws of Karma do not apply to show business, where good things happen to bad people on a fairly regular basis.”

“I believe that the obsessive worship of movie, TV and sports figures is less likely to produce spiritual gain than praying to Thor.”

“I believe that the voices of fear, both from without and within, can only be dispelled by trusting the voice that comes from the heart.”

“I exercise regularly. I eat moderate amounts of healthy food. I make sure to get plenty of rest. I see my doctor once a year and my dentist twice a year. I floss every night.”

“I work from a deep sense of insecurity. I have the belief, and I can’t shake it, that there are endless reasons to turn the channel. There are hundreds of channels and entirely other things to do besides TV.”

“If Charlie Sheen outlives me, I’m gonna be really pissed.”

“I’m an old guitar player who has fallen into television and is so happy he did.”

“It’s safe to talk openly and honestly with people because they’re not really listening.”

“Life is never quite like the brochure.”

“Love, sex, food, friendship, art, play, beauty and the simple pleasure of a cup of tea are all well and good, but never forget that God/the universe is determined to kill you by whatever means necessary.”

“That’s a discovery process. That’s the terrifying and wonderful part about getting picked up to series. You get to develop the stories and talk about the characters, and find out where the heart of the series is.”

Chuck Lorre’s share his secret formula to his comedy empire as he has cornered the market for sitcoms. With four major shows under his belt, Lorre sits down with Entertainment Tonight before his celebration from Warner Bros. Studios.

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