16 Funny Late for Work Excuses

Ever Been Late to Work

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Are You Running Late To Work?

If you have ever been late to your job, you should be ashamed! Just kidding… you are far from alone. 16 per cent of us are late to work once a week or more. 27 per cent of workers in the same 2011 survey confessed to arriving at work already behind schedule once a month or more.

Bosses are not shining examples of punctuality either. In fact, bosses tend to be even worse at tardiness than their workers. A report from 2006 shows that American CEOs are late to at least 8 out of every 10 meetings.

Time really is money when it comes to business! Tardiness costs businesses in the US over $3 billion a year due to lost productivity.

Everyone has an excuse for being late, some more inventive than others. However, it does seem that if something can go wrong, it will when you are trying to get out of the house or on your way to work.

Delays in getting to work are caused by a variety of things, some – if not many – of them imaginary. Here are the stats on the most common (alleged) causes: traffic comes in first at 30 per cent, lack of sleep second at 19 per cent, bad weather 9 per cent and getting kids to school or day care causes 8 per cent of delays.

There is one thing in common with every incident of tardiness, however: the dirty look from your boss and sometimes looks from your co-workers when you finally arrive. Nothing can change that, but here are a few creative excuses that might improve their moods:

1. The dog buried my car in my backyard. (A cute variation from the classic homework excuse).

2. Apparently I should not have downloaded the Sleep Late and Be On Time for Work smartphone app. Obviously it’s a dud!

3. If it rains, try: I decided to make an experimental scooter powered by solar energy. It started raining, so I suppose I will not be patenting that idea.

4. I have a girlfriend that is anti-Daylight Savings.

5. 4 out of 5 doctors say you should get 8 hours of sleep every night. My friends say I should get at least 6 hours of Call of Duty every night. Do the math on that one!

6. It seems I have a severe allergy to 8am.

7. I was in a parallel universe for the majority of the morning after being sucked in to a temporary black hole.

8. I was stuck in the elevator with the CEO after he pushed all the buttons to all the floors. What a nut!

9. Long story short: Three kids, one box of cereal, a gallon of expired milk and a whole lot of projectile vomiting.

10. I got kidnapped by the two hour liberation army. They let me go after the required two hours.